Subject: My Letter for Leaving the Baha'i Faith
Date: 12/14/1998 2:59 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: <A HREF="aol://3548:Ian Mayes">Ian Mayes</A>
Message-id: <19981214145954.25334.00002211@ng100.aol.com>
12-12-98
Dear Baha'is,
Ever since I read Baha'u'llah's statement that "truthfulness is the foundation
of all human virtue" I have been trying to live my life as truthfully and un-
hypocritical as possible. Honesty is indeed the best policy there is, no
matter what the out-come. It is in precisely this spirit that I write this
letter and make this declaration. Please do not chastise me for what I am
about to say, nor should you be up-set for what I am about to say. This is a
moment of evolution for me, a moment of personal growth and understanding.
For about three years now I have been intensely engaged in a special kind of
inner turmoil regarding what my beliefs are in terms of the Baha'i Faith, and
now I have decided to finally and clearly put an end to it all and move on
with my life. I am not a Baha'i. I can no longer reconcile the beliefs,
standards and positions of the Baha'i Faith with those that I have discovered
for myself through my own personal "Independent Investigation of Truth."
For a very long time now I have been desperately trying to find correlation
between what has been set out in the Baha'i Faith and what is evident to
myself. Every connection, interpretation, twisting of meaning, and coincidence
I have used as some kind of personal "proof" to myself that what I believe and
what I am is in accordance with the Baha'i Faith. I have now decided to no
longer put the wool over my eyes and I am determined to call it as it
is, this means accepting that the Faith has no real significance over any
other religion or philosophy in my personal beliefs and standards.
The truth of the matter is that I am primarily an anarchist. It is the
philosophy of Anarchism where my real dedication and commitment lies. I could
not reconcile that the Baha'i Faith encourages patriotism and dedication to
government where I seek the absolute abolition of all government. Nor could I
reconcile it's dedication to hard work in the "work as worship" attitude when
I see the work in our Capitalist economic system as primarily aiding an
elite few, oppressing the majority of the people and destroying our natural
environment. Most of all, Anarchism seeks the abolition of all forms of
authority, political, economic, social and religious, while the Baha'i Faith
is a religion based upon authority and which takes great pride in that it has
relied upon authority to keep it together all this time. I do not see justice
and humanity in relying upon guardians, masters, councils and assemblies
while we all remain human beings who are more than capable of thinking,
deciding, working and living for ourselves. A major component of what makes up
the Baha'i Faith seems to be its administration. Right after the beliefs,
principles and "central figures" are all explained to the Seekers,
descriptions of "Baha'i Administration" are always given. I can never believe
in administration or government. I can believe in self-administration and
self-government, but I can never believe in a body of people appointed to do
this.
Perhaps the biggest factor that has contributed to my leaving the Baha'i
Faith is that I do not believe in God in the traditional sense. I am a
Pantheist. I see "God" as being synonymous with ALL existence and ALL reality.
I quite literally view "God" as being everything everywhere in every way. I do
not centralize "God" into a single being, entity, force, essence, thing,
spirit, person, or manifestation. I decentralize "God," and see it as being
the totality of all that is. Therefore, there could be no "Creator" or thing
that we must pray to, worship and pay homage to. There is only existence and
reality itself and our own personal spiritual connections with it. After
reading the famous anarchist Mikhail Bakunin's book "God and the State" a
couple of times, I have come to agree with him that "if God really did exist,
it would be necessary to abolish Him." That is, if a single centralized
being, entity, force, etc. existed which demanded that we obey it and be
subservient to it, then I would actively seek its destruction. As Bakunin
pointed out, all authority is in itself inherently degrading and destructive
to humanity and the higher the authority, the more degrading and destructive
it is to humanity. The Baha'i Faith refers to "He who is the Most High" and
places God way above us all. Likewise, Baha'u'llah has referred to humanity
as being of significance which is "less than dirt." I simply can not follow
such a religion. The Baha'i Faith is based on such a blatantly hierarchical
foundation which puts humanity in such a very low position. God should not be
"above" us nor should any Satan-like entity be "below" us. We need an equal
footing and an equal mutual cooperation.
Another aspect of my beliefs, which is core to who I am, is Pacifism. I abhor
any and all violence and find the Baha'i stand of looking down upon without
totally condemning all war and violence as simply not being good enough. If
one truly does want a peaceful, loving, unified humanity, absolutely no
violence whatsoever would be tolerated. However, this is not the ONLY time
where the divisive anti-unity attitude of the Baha'i Faith is apparent, the
condemnation of homosexuals as being "spiritually diseased" and of Covenant
Breakers merely for being Covenant Breakers goes directly against any
semblance of "unity in diversity." Because of this, I have decided to follow
the advice of Abdul-Baha himself when he said in Paris Talks: "If religion
becomes a cause of dislike, hatred and division, it is better to be without
it."
The Baha'i lifestyle is another thing which I can not accept. "Obligatory
prayer," the required pilgrimage to Haifa, the money that must be paid by each
individual to the Faith, the standards of dress, the standards of language and
the laws of "chastity" and marriage (which happens to be another institution
that I am opposed to) are all things that go directly against personal
freedom, personal choice, natural instinct, diversity and creativity.
Nobody should ever become the drone-slave that such a life-style inevitably
entails.
I have been mentioning how anarchism is antagonistic to the Baha'i Faith,
however, after reading and consulting the Baha'i sacred writings themselves, I
have discovered that the Baha'i Faith is antagonistic to anarchism as well.
Some examples that I have found are in the "Messages to America" by Shoghi
Effendi on page 50, where he states that the Baha'i Faith and its Covenant are
designed by God Himself to be "the sole refuge against anarchy." In
"The Promised Day Is Come" by Shoghi Effendi on pages 6 and 7 he says that
anarchism is conclusively disproved by the tenets of the Baha'i Faith and the
conduct of its followers. He also says there that anarchism "unwittingly or
maliciously injures the Cause." And in "Directives of the Guardian" by Shoghi
Effendi on pages 53 - 54 he goes into a thorough attack of BOTH Pacifism and
anarchism. Also within the Baha'i writings, Baha'u'llah, Abdul-Baha,
Shoghi Effendi and the Universal House of Justice all denounce and attack
"anarchy." However, when they use the term "anarchy" it is clearly usually
synonymous with "chaos" and "disorder," which is the popular misconception and
mis-usage of the term. The word "anarchy" really means a society that operates
under the principles of anarchism; it comes from the original Greek meaning
"No rulers." However, it is always emphatically stressed within the
Baha'i Faith that each and every single word that is ever uttered or written
by Baha'u'llah, Abdul-Baha, Shoghi Effendi and the Universal House of Justice
is always very carefully thought out and chosen. If this is true, I would then
assume that they would all know the true meaning of the word "anarchy" and
would thereby have to conclude that the Baha'i Faith very frequently attacks
and denounces that which is the core to what I am. If this is not
true, then I have direct evidence of the ignorance and fallibility of these
supposedly infallible God-sent people, as well as proof that the Baha'i Faith
has lied to me.
The destruction of the faith and devotion of each individual Baha'i lies
within its own teachings and principles. If one happens to take all of its
principles at face value, the seed for the eventual demise of the Baha'i Faith
is right there. I am referring to the "Independent Investigation of Truth." I
have ALWAYS loved the "Independent Investigation of Truth." It has always been
the most attractive thing to me about the Baha'i Faith. To me, it
seemed to greatly set apart the Baha'i Faith from all of the world's other
religions. However, if one really does follow this principle, if one always
DOES question, if one is always looking, searching, investigating and
THINKING, then one will always inevitably be led away from the Baha'i Faith.
Because the truth is that there is a whole world out there outside of the
Baha'i Faith, a whole world which has a great variety of answers and ideas to
each
and every single thing. When literally millions of other ways exist, the
chances of the Baha'i Faith being right each and every time on even the
majority of subjects is statistically improbable. Taking the Independent
Investigation of Truth at face value and combining it with the reality of
statistics can't help but have people wind up like me, finding value in other
philosophies, ideas and possibilities. It is in precisely the same spirit as
the
"Independent Investigation of Truth" that I found solace in the open-
mindedness of the philosophy of anarchism. Mikhail Bakunin did indeed say: "No
theory, no book, no ready-made system will ever save the world. I cleave to no
system. I am a true seeker."
However, the Faith is aware of this inherent flaw, and it has taken measures
to counter it. This is why the "Independent Investigation of Truth" is used as
nothing more than a ploy, as sugarcoating to get people into the Faith, and
then it is abandoned as soon as they are confirmed believers. It was evident,
at least in my experience, that once I was a confirmed Baha'i that the
"Independent Investigation of Truth," which was so important to me,
became overshadowed by things which made me totally uncomfortable, such as the
Persian Hidden Words # 11 and a multitude of other demands for obedience,
subservience, conformity, and submission. After one has declared, it is
discovered that the "Most Holy Book" is also the "Book of Laws," and each and
every petty detail of how to hand one's independent freethinking soul over to
The Supreme Authority is then detailed. Explicit or implied rules, laws,
commands, dictates are abundant EVERYWHERE within the Baha'i Faith. Everywhere
you look, every page of the sacred texts, every prayer, every Hidden Word
contains more and more and more of the things that we must do. I can not
accept this, as Bakunin said: "Every command is a slap in the face of
liberty."
In fact, the very term "seeker" is abandoned once one has become a Baha'i. It
is implied that one is only "seeking" when one is not a Baha'i. I consider
being a "seeker" a wonderful, beautiful, even "sacred," thing. I do not see it
as just something to label "the uninitiated." I hold freethinking, open-
mindedness and new creative ideas as some of the most beautiful and endearing
qualities of humanity. I have discovered that the real meaning of the
Baha'i term "Unity in Diversity" is not at all used like the anarchist term
"Libertarian Socialism." "Unity in Diversity" is instead used to mean that the
Baha'i Faith accepts all different races, ethnicities, nationalities, sexes
and involuntary physical appearances. In other words, all the "diversity" that
the Baha'i Faith accepts are things which one is born with, no room is left
for diversity of thought, ideas and life-styles. As soon as one
leaves their mother's womb, no further "diversity" is allowed.
Anarchism to me represents the ideals of the French Revolution, "Liberty,
Equality and Fraternity." The Baha'i Faith destroys liberty through it's
continued insistence on obedience to the many Laws, and God's Will. It
destroys equality through its condemnation of homosexuals and Covenant
Breakers, as well as the fact that only a select few can serve on the
Administration at any given time. Also it destroys fraternity because every
gathering of
Baha'is has the higher ideal of The Faith as it's sub-text and under-lying
theme, the goal is something above them, not they themselves. I admit, a good
deal of fraternity exists within the Faith, this is partly why I have stayed
with it for so long. This is partly why I joined the Faith to begin with as
well, because I was so enamored and awed by the power of human closeness and
fraternity which was expressed at the Louis Gregory Baha'i Institute in
the summer of 1995. I had mistaken the Baha'i Faith for the power of
fraternity itself. I have now discovered that it is the empowerment,
invigoration and sense of belonging that such communal environments create
within us that appealed to me.
The truth is this has indeed been a rough, agonizing and even painful
decision for me to make. Words simply can not express to you how much emotion,
time, energy, and thought has been put into this. I have read, investigated,
communicated around the world, thought out, prayed and meditated, and the
truth is now finally revealed to me. Now, it has all finally come down to this
irrefutable fact: I can no longer reconcile my true beliefs with the
Baha'i Faith. I can neither pretend to be a Baha'i when I am certain that I am
not one nor can I live with the inner turmoil of trying to be both an
anarchist and a Baha'i when the two are mutually antagonistic. I have to
declare what my beliefs really are now. I have to break from the Baha'i Faith
and I must now live my life without it. I ask of you now, please do not try to
convince me otherwise; please do not argue with me. Please do not try to
"heal/save my wayward soul." Please do not talk down to me. Please do not try
to change my mind. Please do not try to obstruct my decision here. After a
great and life-long journey, my personal decision has been made, and that is
all there is to it. I am an anarchist. That is my true life's calling. As
Alexander Berkman said: "Anarchism is the most beautiful thought that humanity
has ever had." I will die for anarchism, but more importantly I will
LIVE for anarchism.
I am enclosing my Baha'i membership card to return to you. It says it is your
"property." Though I do not believe in property, I do not want it on my person
any longer since, not only am I no longer a Baha'i, I neither believe in nor
do I want myself interred according to the Baha'i standards of burial. Please,
remove my name and Baha'i number from any and all records and registries that
you have, thereby officially ending my association with and
membership to the Baha'i Faith. I do not want to receive any mailings,
publications or announcements from you any longer. However, I do request you
to reply to this letter with a letter confirming I have been completely taken
off the books.
The Baha'i Faith has indeed been a vital part in my life-long personal growth
and development for me in innumerable ways. It has been with me from day one
since I was born and raised in a Baha'i household, and it has definitely
shaped who I am as a human being. The "Independent Investigation of Truth,"
the anti-racist, anti-sexist, anti-ethnicist, anti-nationalist and general
anti-prejudice attitudes, the individual directly controlling their own
spiritual health and well-being, and the belief that all of humanity should be
loved and united are all aspects of the Faith that will stay with me forever.
I do feel as if I have grown out of and beyond the reaches of the Baha'i
Faith, but I will never forget the role it has played in the first twenty
years of my life. I genuinely do thank you, and I wish you all the best.
Sincerely,
Ian Mayes