The Baha'i Faith & Religious Freedom of Conscience

 
From: r.woodlock@bigfoot.com <r.woodlock@bigfoot.com>
Subject: Why *I* left
Date: Tuesday, August 18, 1998 3:59 AM
I think K.Paul Johnson has a good point.  When people have asked me why I
left the Faith I invariably give a different answer every time.  I usually
believe what I am saying to be true - so why so many answers??	(I used to
think people would not think I was telling the truth about it).
Religious conversion is a complex phenomenon.  Initially when I left, I think
it was more to do with a growing attraction to Islam than a whole series of
thought out beliefs that the Baha'i Faith was not true - but since then I
have read and seen much (without my previously blinding "love of Baha'i"
spectacles that filtered all things) that has confirmed my decision.  I look
back and see the genesis of my having left in a time period of about two
years where I swayed to opposite ends of the pendulum "being a Muslim" and
"being a Baha'i".
The first post I wrote to soc.religion.bahai (which I desperately begged the
moderators not to post - so they didn't) concerned the deletion of an
unfulfilled prophecy from "Baha'u'llah and the New Era", yet all of my early
newsgroup posts were full-on "Baha'i".	I came >< close to going to the
mosque to say shahaada in November/December 96, yet January '97 I was
participating in an intensive youth teaching project.
My Islamic beliefs have changed over time as well.  At first I sought a
simplictic answer to things, having been nurtured in the comfort of
set-in-stone and infallible Baha'i beliefs, but have since grown more
flexible and modernistic and am revelling in the freedom.
Whereas once I used to hand out pamphlets in the street, I now feel
uncomfortable when Baha'is "teach" to me.  I don't want the "pat" answers, I
want to turn around and ask them what they think of John Hick's pluralism!
There are subjects with which I take issue with the Baha'i Faith, that never
posed a problem in my mind as a Baha'i:  but not believing that Baha'u'llah
or the UHJ is infallible, means that I am free to question and re-mould
myself and my opinions.
I also believe there are many positive things about the Baha'i Faith, and I
still believe I can write on "Baha'i beliefs" (eg. my most recent posts on
Titles of the Manifestations), I love the freedom to be able to profit from
what good exists in that religion, and throw away all the negatives.  If it
means I can't be a declared Baha'i - then so be it.  I am at the stage where
I believe tawhiidian monotheism of Islam is the most perfect form of
religious truth, but I am open to other religions being more suitable
comforts for other people.  If someone *needs* to believe that Baha'u'llah is
watching their every move and pushing and prodding them in a divinely
ordained direction: then that is their choice.	I don't think the idea that
God is an Unknowable Essence that I must approach through a human being
(Baha'u'llah) is a particularly useful theology to me, but that is my current
state of religious evolution.
Oh well, just some thoughts I guess,
Regards
Maryam

In article <35d85986.0@vlinsvr>,
  pjohnson@vlinsvr.vsla.edu (K. Paul Johnson) wrote:
> Seeing an exchange about the honesty and reliability of an
> ex-Baha'i's story of "why I left" inspires some comments.  There
> are so many ways to parse the question "Why did you leave?" that
> I think a couple deserve mention.  First would be "What were your
> conscious thoughts at the time you chose to withdraw concerning
> the reasons for doing so?"  Another would be "What reactions were
> going on unconsciously at the time that you can now look back on
> and recognize as motivating factors?"  In my own case, the
> answers to these two questions would be quite different.  First
> would be that the claims of the Bab and Baha'u'llah about
> their own status and their place in history no longer were
> persuasive to me.  Second would involve so many aspects of being
> turned off by dogmatism, implausible readings of history,
> totalitarian hopes for the future, etc. etc., that it took me
> years to realize all the factors involved.
>
> I'd think that at this stage Tim might be learning more of those
> second-order motivating factors, since it takes a long while to
> process such things.
>

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