From: kate_mccolloch_bodi@my-dejanews.com <kate_mccolloch_bodi@my-dejanews.com>
Subject: Since leaving 5 years ago
Date: Tuesday, August 18, 1998 12:50 PM
Since leaving the Baha'i Faith almost five years ago, I have long wanted to
have the opportunity to talk to people familiar with the Baha'i community. I
want to ask them whether my experiences with the community were some uncommon
phenomena or representative of the faith in general. After reading Tim
Mulligan's posting and all of the responses, I sigh, and remember clearly why
I left without word or explanation, perhaps a heretic but probably still
signed up on someone's card count.
I don't know exactly how or why my ex-husband became Baha'i, but I suspect it
was for the favors that were offered him. I myself recall a Baha'i agreeing
to sell us a vehicle on-time at a steal of a price, but only if I signed my
card. When my (now)-ex-husband told me to sign, I did.
I don't know exactly how or why I became a teacher for the faith during my
first community meeting. Perhaps it was because no-one else would watch all
the children as the adults had their meetings. I remember that I had no idea
what the faith was about. They said "that's okay, here's a book and invite
non-member children also." When my children's classes drew dozens of
non-member children, the Baha'is wanted to teach them and took my classes
away.
I don't know exactly how or why the spiritual assembly decided that they
should support my ex-husband after he was jailed for assault and stalking me.
Perhaps it was because I would not tell them about the incident myself. I
remember feeling embarrassed about the whole thing and then getting very,
very angry as the "Community" went to court to testify about how I was
setting my ex-husband up.
Even now, at the university I attend, I see these young faces at their booth
on the commons, with pamphlets talking about unity and the equality of men
and women. I want to walk up to them and ask if my experience was some
surreal fluke. But the closer I look, the younger their faces appear to me
and I know they probably could never understand what I was asking. Questions
like, Is a faith a reflection of its members, or the reverse? What is the
purpose of a community meeting if half of your community is alienated? What
can a spiritual assembly really know about a marriage? How can a man and
woman be treated equally, if a man takes on a "year of patience" for his
errant wife to come to her senses and do what she is told once again? Do you
really think some words in book by Abdul Baha can sooth pain like this?
Sincerely,
Kathleen R. Mccolloch-Bodi
Formerly of Juneau, Alaska